I don’t know how to enjoy songs of
Europe classic. I felt tension every time the classical music flow to me. There was an intense argument between my brother and I last week, when I criticized his performance of piano was so and so disturbing. I don’t understand how and why he fell in love with that historical
Europe music, and so addict to it everyday in his life. He can play classical music of grade 8 level without undergo one day of piano lesson He learned it by his artistic sensitivity and passion in music. His eye is sparking when describing how amazing the classical music’s code in structure, how the feeling flow and story inherent in one music.

Oh God! He appears to me is “weird” as I can’t experience the spirit that he mentioned through the song.

I have best friend studies music in KL. Her major is classical music and performance. She fetched me to KL last week for helping me to attend a job interview and we had a long talk along the journey and in her place. She showed me the pictures of music orchestras, the grand hall in KLCC, and describing the classical spirit of her lecturers. As her story moved on, I was counting the money and effort that spending in pursue the dream of music in my mind.

Oh God! Classical music is too expensive. Fees of piano & tuition lessons, examination fees, buying instruments and books, grande toilette…

            Classicism implies a spirit of discipline, balance and tradition (referred notes). Thus, it appears to me tension and control. Besides, during the classic era, elegance and tradition were the qualities that were most prized (referred notes). The elegance of classical music still in prevalence today, thus the price for getting qualification to involve in classical world is high. Places that value the classicism the most are countries that rich in historical basis, higher status of life (Europe countries: England, France,
Italy..). The value of Classicism is reflected by its material price and its discipline of origin.

            Although my brother is interested in music, but my family is impossible can afford to realize his dream, it is too expensive. However, it doesn’t mean that we will surrender our destiny to reality. God loves me and brother very much since young. My uncle lent us his piano and books when I was in secondary and my brother in primary, and we developed our knowledge by our own. Anyway, my brother excelled very much better than me as I don’t appreciate classical music and I discouraged by my little short fingers. Although my brother can’t live music as major but he can take it as minor.

My friend made appointment with me to
Italy for admiring the historical heritance there (especially art of music) with her if possible one day in future when we have money. I pondered for a while and smile, “Hey, I am not belong to that high class of world lar, I want to go to
Africa (got lion, leopard and elephant.).”For me, they are too ‘high class’ and a lot of constrain (discipline). Classic world live in tradition where there are controlled by status and law. For me, people who succeed to achieve high status are not only elegant but arrogant (very take matter of identity and status). [I am sorry for bias thinking and stereotyping the high status’s people]

 Everyone like art, but people only come to those arts that match their personality, emotionality. Since I have no high discipline with strong concentration, sharp listening and memory skills, I don’t think I can enjoy classical music very much in this way. Classical music appears to me is high degree of formality, a need of senses consumption. I am more preferring informal and intuitive way of art expression.

Formality makes things/people in management and systematic. As the size of organization grows bigger, the higher will be the degree of formality. As big community, big churches, they have higher degree of formality in division of responsibilities, authority and decision making. Formality is a must, but how to make it work with no tension? I am wondering. Just as the case of me now, is trying to enjoy classical music, trying my best to balance my sense and feeling to understand the story inside.

 Ya, the clue is BALANCE.